How to Seduce a Vegetarian

Wed 25 Jul 2018 - Filed under: Free Stuff to Read, , , | Posted by: Gavin

Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet No. 29 coverThis is LCRW Cooking Columnist Nicole Kimberling’s third column for LCRW and was originally published in LCRW 29. Check out the first, Sending All Your Love—In the Form of Brownies Through the Mail, and the second, Feeding Strays.

Step One: Find Likely Candidate

In years past, finding a vegetarian to seduce was more difficult than it is today. Back when vegetarianism existed mainly as a symptom of some sort of religion, a VILF-hunter could go weeks, even years, without making contact with a likely target.
Fortunately, today things are different. Now, even straight men can be found abstaining from plate-loads of surf, turf and sky. So pick a non-meat eater that you like the look of and invite him or her to hang out sometime, like at a park or something. Choose a venue that allows you to bring your own food. This is key because to claim the love of vegetarians you must prove that you can, and will, feed them.

With vegetarians so varied and bountiful, one would think that ensnaring one for a night, or perhaps even a lifetime of passion would be easy.

This is not so.

For the vegetarian is, by nature, likely to be choosy and have what we in the world of professional cooking call, “standards.” You might have to try a few different leads before one takes the bait. In this case the bait will be a cold sandwich, which you will prepare and then present to your vegetarian, proving that you have the goods to make him or her happy.

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