Could Have Had a Baby or 2 By Now

Wed 21 Sep 2022 - Filed under: Not a Journal., , , | Posted by: Gavin

tl;dr still out sick. This is my 3-month follow up my June post which was a 3-month follow up my March post:

I’m writing from my couch where I’ve been laid up since mid-December [2021] with something — most likely post-viral fatigue . . .

and I am more frustrated with the thought of writing this (or another one in 3 months time, ugh) than anything since I don’t know — maybe since I was stuck trying to write poetry to order in high school and was only able to commit doggerel whereas of course otherwise I could write pages and pages of poetry/songs/ballads/epics.

Anyway, this post brought to you by the letters C, O, U, C again, and H, as well as H and P — Harvard Pilgrim, our family health insurance provider which we pay for, being self-employed and all that. My cheery Boston-based pulmonologist, whom I’ve spoken to twice by zoom, wants me to get a CT scan. Since I’ve had an ultrasound and a chest x-ray I was happy to try and collect the full set. Just got a call from the local hospital saying my insurance has denied the request to cover it. Here on the couch I am not filled with rage, who has the energy for that? Instead I am on the edge of tears. A side effect of either my age or condition: I’m getting much better at crying. Now the cheery pumonologist has called to do battle on my behalf. I wish him luck. [Later: nope, not covered. Appointment cancelled, dr. will try again. Will wilting but meh.]

He told me that whether or not I ever had Covid, he’s including me in the post-Covid cohort as my symptoms (basically fatigue or what I feel to be uselessness) fit. He does some testing for the groups associated with a fatigue study I just read about in New Scientist which is cheering. Resting, pacing, coconut water, more salt in my diet, and recumbent exercise are all on order. Apparently there may be some physiological changes in blood flow that can be picked up during an exercise test with a pulmonary catheter placed. If I could, I’d up and run away at the thought of that but that’s out the question so maybe I will get that done at some point. So it goes.

I am in two minds (at least, always) about how much to write. I may be improving as my phone says my step count is inching up but is that just me learning how to live with this? I am still immensely physically limited.

I can do some of the Small Beer and Book Moon work that I need to do and I can help our kid (from the couch) with her homework. I can make breakfast but actual standing around cooking for any length of time is too much — I sit down if I am chopping anything, etc. I’ve been to Book Moon twice for about 20 minutes each and hope to visit once a week but even the trip there (ooh, out the house!) is exhausting. Apparently my bandwidth, for lack of a better term, is still very limited. I haven’t been to the office but Kelly collects mail every couple of weeks. Kelly does way too many things! I can’t mail things out or move books — I can send emails and so on although even there at some point every day I realize I am done and need a break as I’m not comprehending what I’m reading or unable to type more than a word without a typo. I have taken up Asphalt 8+ to pass time. I don’t think I was a hugely active person before this but I did enjoy kicking to do things off lists, going places, seeing people. Maybe in the future.

Small Beer: I am just about to send an extended edition with bonus material of Ayize Jama-Everett’s 4th and final Liminal novel, Heroes of an Unknown World, to the galley printer. 100+ indie bookstores will be getting copies along with reviewers. All four novels should be available on Edelweiss. We’re really trying to get the completion of this series celebrated in February when it comes out. The Liminal books are pageturners, full of action and also the complicated dynamics of friends and family.

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I have gone away from this and come back to it a couple of times and there’s a disappointing lack of narrative to it, sorry, but I am at the many typos stage again so that’s it for now. Next Monday I get another vaccine booster, woo.

In my ancient mariner way, supine on the couch, I recommend wearing a mask.