Sleek Fat Albinos in Spring

by Nicole Kimberling

Thu 5 Sep 2024 - Filed under: Free Stuff to Read

This is LCRW Cooking Columnist Nicole Kimberling’s sixth column for LCRW originally published in LCRW 32. Asparagus photo by Dawn Kimberling.

Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet No. 32 coverA couple of years ago I happened to be in Europe during the Easter season. Specifically, I was right at the border of Germany and France. There, in field after field lining the autobahn, I saw nothing growing. But my godson, who had just finished a cooking apprenticeship at a hotel in the Black Forest, saw something else.

“Under those rows covered in white plastic—that’s where they grow the spargel—white asparagus. The Germans are crazy for it.”

Is there a vegetable that better typifies spring than asparagus, white or otherwise? The somewhat sleazy little nub nosing its way blindly through the newly unfrozen soil seeking the sun’s warmth to turn from white as a worm to brilliant green.

Or, in the case of German asparagus, their fate is to get covered up in hay and plastic and grow stiff and fat in darkness.

Either way if it’s asparagus, there can be no doubt it’s spring.

Asparagus is mostly enjoyed with butter or eggs, or that delightful combination of butter and eggs known as hollandaise sauce, which is wonderful.

But what, I wondered, about the vegans?

I confess it’s not a question I frequently ask myself, not being a vegan, but since vegan cooking is currently trending I get a lot of requests from customers to devise interesting food items that are also free of animal products.

At the same time, I happened to be planning a high tea and hit upon the idea of a vegan tea sandwich. Eventually, after many failed attempts I experienced an epiphany and thus the Asparagus & Toasted Walnut Tea Bites burst forth.

Here are the ingredients:

For the bread—any kind of baguette or other skinny, tube-shaped bread.
For the Toasted Walnut Spread—one cup of toasted walnuts, one teaspoon soy sauce, one half teaspoon sugar.
For the asparagus—asparagus, green or white, with any very hard or woody ends removed but otherwise left whole.

Instructions:

  1. Cut the bread into three-inch segments and then make a lengthwise incision along one side. Then gently pull the bread open to create a continuous strip. Toast bread under a broiler.
  2. To make the Walnut Spread, combine all ingredients in some sort of annihilation device, like a blender or food processor or mortar and pestle and pulse or pound until you have a rough paste. If the paste is greasy or crumbly add a teaspoon full of water to bring it back to a creamier consistency. Divide spread between mini-bread rolls, covering the whole inner surface.
  3. Cut asparagus to around 5 inches in length. (Save the spare ends to toss into scrambled eggs or a Chinese black bean stir-fry.) Take asparagus spears and sauté in olive oil, salt and pepper until pencil-sized asparagus is bright green. (One or two minutes only.) If using white asparagus, first remove the tough outer layer with a vegetable peeler, then steam either with a stove-top steamer or by covering with a damp towel and microwaving until the vegetable is tender. (6–8 minutes in a steamer or 3–4 in a microwave.)
  4. Lay asparagus spears inside the prepared bread with the ends protruding, as though it was a hot dog. For thin green asparagus you’ll need 3–4 spears per mini-sandwich whereas fatter white asparagus should only be 2 spears, since they are so much fatter.
  5. Arrange in single-file on a long, thin platter and present to unsuspecting vegans or anyone else who enjoys asparagus.

b&w photo of asparagus in a cupBecause this sandwich is simple, it is also versatile. Many substitutions could be made, including other tree nuts or almonds (technically a seed) for the walnuts. Tamari and gluten-free bread could be employed to make the sandwich both vegan and gluten-free.

But if you’re not interested in keeping to a strict vegan ethic but still like the idea of this sandwich, I suggest that you purchase a small amount of prosciutto, Serrano or other thin-sliced dried ham and add that to the sandwiches as a garnish.

For crispy prosciutto garnish: Place fancy ham in a hot, dry skillet until it shrivels up and turns deep red—about 45 seconds. Remove from heat. Slide inside sandwiches.