Mystery Contest Winners

Wed 8 Jul 2009 - Filed under: Not a Journal., | Leave a Comment | Posted by: Gavin

We are pleased to announce after, oh, a brief delay, the winners of the The Manual of Detection Mystery Contest we instigated some time back. Many fine mysteries were submitted, and we’d like to coat each of them in gold and jewels and stage heists around them, but we promised only five winners, each of whom will receive a signed copy of Jedediah Berry’s novel. Here are answers to the mysteries they posed:

Sue asked: Every time I take the subway, I always notice a cluster of pigeons hanging around. However, all of these pigeons are fully grown. Whatever happen to the baby pigeons? Why don’t we or I see them anywhere? Does the pigeon self replicate? Or is the answer to my question so mundane that my brain cannot grasp it?

All pigeons send their children away to act on soap operas. How else to explain the phenomenon described by Marta, below?

Marsha: Are there more teapots or people?

If we knew the answer to that question, we would have retired by now. Why do you taunt us?

Kaethe: Why did my grandfather carefully pull back his suit coat before he shot himself in the heart through his vest and shirt?

Because he was a gentleman, and because he was carrying the gun in the inner pocket of his coat.

Marta: When soap opera children go upstairs and come back down in a month and they are adults….WHAT HAPPENS UP THERE?

All children on soap operas are played by pigeons.

Keith: Why is it that, in the movies, vampire hunters always hunt vampires at night? Why don’t they wait until dawn and do it during the day?

Members of the Vampire Hunters Labor Union must abide by a number of strict rules. Hunting vampires at night, despite rumors to the contrary, is not one of these rules. They hunt at night because that is when they choose to hunt.

So, Marta, Marsha, Kaethe, Sue, and Keith: thank you and congrats! Please claim your prize by sending your mailing address to [email protected].

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