Kristin’s converter tables

Wed 18 Mar 2009 - Filed under: Not a Journal., | 6 Comments | Posted by: Gavin

A Working Writer's Daily Planner 2010: Your Year in Writing CoverIn response to our call for suggestions for A Working Writer’s Daily Planner 2010: Your Year in Writing Kristin had a fantastic idea:

How about something targeted to the young fantasy/science fiction/mystery writer in all of us?

  • How far can a horse travel in a day?
  • Carrying two riders when one is an elf and one is human?
  • What is the minimum amount of oxygen content/gravity/sunlight able to sustain human life?
  • How do you allow for time dilation?
  • A ratio for ambient temperature to body temperature for establishing time of death.

Which led us to supply a few more:

  • How about how many old ladies visiting your town does it take to produce a murder?
  • An adverb removal tool to convert your text into noir?

Which then led to the thought: there’s a curiously large internet’s worth of writers out there. Any conversion tables you’d like to see?


6 Responses to “Kristin’s converter tables”

  1. Dave Schwartz on March 19th, 2009 10:16 am

    – A “Mad Libs”-style template for your very own literary manifesto.
    – Absurdist Rejectomancy, where each phrase in a rejection letter is analyzed like the reading of entrails to reach ridiculous conclusions, e.g. “failure to understand basic rules of grammar” = “daring stylistic choices” and “at this time” = “at 1:47 PM October 3rd, while still logy from lunch and with a slight headache coming on.”
    – Adorableness Quotient, i.e. the number of fuzzy sidekicks/dependents your protagonist(s) must have in order for the reader to forgive their killings in the name of justice.

  2. Leslie on March 22nd, 2009 9:00 pm

    I do so want to know about the horse thing too, even though I ride them. Never been any distance — only in the controlled circumstances of a ring or an outdoor trail specifically for riding.

  3. Scott on March 23rd, 2009 11:47 am

    I’d like the planner to include the ‘height’ and ‘depth’ cartoons from xkcd. Kurt Vonnegut’s list of the ten or so possible plots from his Paris Review interview. Imaginary holidays. Brian Eno’s Oblique Strategies. Obsolete diseases. Brief definitions of poetic forms and classical rhetoric. Complicated diagrams and simple mnemonics.

  4. James on March 23rd, 2009 2:47 pm

    Monetary conversion tables for speculative fiction:

    1 credit = 1 gold piece = 1 glorb = 1 mark = 1 crown = 1 rand = 1 sovereign = 1 doesn’tmatterwhatyoucallitit’salwaysthesamestupidphonything

    A temperature scale ranging from the near-absolute zero cold of space to the heat of a salamander’s cave.

    Maybe you could borrow some of the kosher/non-kosher information from the VanderMeers’s book.

  5. lcrw on March 23rd, 2009 5:52 pm

    Oh, this is going to be so complicated . . . for Kristin! Not sure that we will get all of this in there.

    James: we really try not to “borrow” anything from other books!!

  6. James on March 23rd, 2009 11:06 pm

    Well, with permission, I figured.

    By the way, whatever happened with those Jedediah Berry books? It’s still a mystery whose mysteries were favored, as far as I know.

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