Small Beer Press Announces New Air Delivery Program

Mon 2 Dec 2013 - Filed under: Not a Journal. | 1 Comment | Posted by: Gavin

Effective December 26th* Small Beer Press will revolutionize publishing by using hovercrafts to deliver packages in as little as 7 days. Declaring himself an “optimist,” Gavin J. Grant, Small Beer Press publisher predicted the technology will immediately bring tectonic changes to the publishing world.

This is more than a theoretical idea. This morning Grant showed the … internet a Hammacher Schlemmer ad from Harper’s Magazine***¬†for a hovercraft drone called a “2-person hovercraft” which will be emblazoned with “Small Beer Press Air Delivery.” The flying machine has one person to drive it and one to scoop up packages at Small Beer Press fulfillment centers and carry them to customers’ front lawns:

* Once Santa delivers the air delivery device.

** Plagiarized from the Bezos Daily News.

*** Full disclosure: Small Beer Press has paid for books to be advertised in Harper’s.


One Response to “Small Beer Press Announces New Air Delivery Program”

  1. Gregory Frost on December 4th, 2013 10:52 am

    I for one cannot wait to see a giant inflated howling hovercraft skimming down my street, crushing parked cars and blowing pets about like kernels in an air popper, just to deliver my copy of the latest Lady Churchill’s. Brilliant, I say.

Leave a Reply